“An expectation is a pre-meditated resentment. If we could just take that one saying and start to just have conversations, be able to co-exist, and have a bit more acceptance, that would be a good start.”
– Karen Gosbee, from Ep. 23, Confronting the Madness
Expectations among people are often based on an implicit social contract. That is, without actually verbalizing expectations about give-and-take in a relationship, people construct stories in their heads about legitimate expectations of each other. So, people in a relationship have a "deal" in which the specifics of the deal are never really talked about. It is hard for someone to live up to your expectations when they don't know what they are, but you still might see this failure as a violation of your social contract.
During this episode, Karen shares the trauma she endured in silence for many, many years.
Karen and her three children lost their husband and father, George Gosbee, to suicide in 2017.
What was unknown to many prior to George's suicide was he struggled for many years with mental illness and substance abuse. Through those years, Karen was a victim of both physical and emotional abuse.
She chronicles her journey in detail in her book, “A Perfect Nightmare: My Glittering Marriage and How It Almost Cost Me My Life.”
I highly recommend you read the book and share with those whom you think may benefit from reading it.
Karen is someone who I consider to be a friend and kindred spirit. She is someone I have deep admiration for.
We share a unique bond with each other in that psychologically healthy people bore us.
That said, rumour has it that the next DSM revision will include a new disorder entitled, “psychologically healthy disorder” or PHD for short. So that may change our perspective on the psychologically healthy population. Another ingenious discovery by the mental health power brokers, adding to the growing list of diagnosable disorders we didn’t know we had.
Karen has channeled her lived experience to become an advocate and community leader, working to improve the mental healthcare system. She is the co-chair of Mental Health and Addiction Stewardship Group for The City of Calgary and was a Member of The Government of Alberta Mental Health and Addictions Advisory Council.
Keep Confronting the Madness in your lives.